My Book, Your Pen

I think.. My life is interesting, it would be a good book to read. =p

haha. (but I’m serious.)

I learn, God is teaching me that every mistakes and every rainy days should not be scribbled off from my book. He wants my book to fall under the best seller non-fiction category, not entirely romance filled chic flick nor unrealistic fantasy sci-fi. Nothing but just a simple cover with pages and pages, chapters and chapters of interesting imperfect true stories. Luxurious chariots, pretty dresses, cute fairies, knight in shinning armor or fancy castle might not exists at all, but He certainly will end my book with the nicest The End and most beautiful happily ever after.

Thank Him for every short sentence or long sentence, every short chapter or long chapter. And also for every punctuation- comma for taking a rest and separation, full stop for continuing another journey, exclamation mark for unexpected joy or even heartbreaks, question mark for desiring more of Him and gaining wisdom. For every people that came into my story, whether for just a while or stay on until the very last chapter or even appearing again unexpectedly in one of the chapter, it all made my book a special one! Thank Him for every thoughts and conversations, every feelings and emotions, every struggles and overcoming.

He will hold my pen until the very last breathe, till then just keep writing.

(:

Strength

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

Slow Down

Where mountains fall and reason fails

And You calm the raging seas

And You calm the storms in me, again

Slow down.

Rest in You.

You Are My Righteousness

Don’t cry tonight little darling
Forget the screams that night
The glow of firelight as you ran into the darkness
It was over before we knew just what to do
Remember daddy loved you
Breathe tonight tomorrow’s far away
Just close your eyes and dream of better days

Cos I’ve been waiting here, no one knows it
No one knows my name
Can’t seem to dry my tears, someone stop the pain

I’ll say a prayer for you tonight
Watch the world fly by in the daily times
Open your eyes ask yourself just why
We pretend its fine

Eight years old so excited
First day at school learn the golden rule, how to love your neighbor
Across the world there’s another, eight years old
Just been sold to feed a man’s addiction
She fears the night, tries to remember when
She was home again with loving arms around here
Breathe tonight little sister, tomorrow’s far away
Just close your eyes and dream of better days

Cos I don’t wanna live in a world that tells me
To live and let live get your house and your widescreen
There’s gotta be more than what I’m told is the good life
A good life

Why|Coloured Lights|Chad Blondel

***

今天好冤枉。

今天在想很多为什么。

天父的花园

I’ve been busy busy busy. CNY was great! Nice visiting Cg members and secondary school friends’ houses. The best part is get to eat a lot and rest a lot. I just love switching on the air cond, sitting on my couch, watching tv and just SLACKING. wahahaha..XD

I realised again and again how faithful God is in recent things that had happened. And it’s really when I’m with God and I have God, I fear nothing. Even when I’m so afraid and clueless or even SO DEFEATED, I have my solid rock. I thank God that life is not smooth sailing all the time so that I will draw even closer to Him, just trust in Him. I grow a little teeny weeny bit more this time I think. heh.

A very lovely children song, it made me a bit teary when the first time I heard it.

天父的花园

小小花园里，红橙黄蓝绿 
每朵小花都美丽 
微风轻飘逸，蓝天同欢喜 
在天父的花园里 
你我同是宝贝，在这花园里 
园丁细心呵护不让你伤心 
刮风或下雨，应许从不离开你 
天父的小花成长在他手里 
别担心，你的成长在他手里

园丁细心呵护不让你伤心 （：

More of Life

Busking under the sun, with breeze and everything nice, just close your eyes.. It feels good! (:

I love walking in the crowd and sitting in public places, it makes me wonder and have many many thoughts in mind about people, about things, about circumstances and about life. Then continue walking and questioning God. Though I don’t get immediate answer always, but somehow someday something will just reveal it all. And even perhaps I’ve already forgotten about it and the answers will just come, triggers that long ago questions I used to ask and hearing as if God whispering to me “you see? so now you know…“. Then I’ll just smile and walk down to the memory lane, back to the time why I ask why/how/what. Then continue walking and smiling, thinking “hah! me so silly! God u’re so cute!” (:

Then it goes on and on.. perhaps until one day I don’t have to do that. I can just speak face to face like how Moses in the bible did with that extra sweet embrace and I will know I am at Home. (:

Okay, 1st resolution for 2009!!

I’ve decided to wake up early and take my bread of life every morning in the park near by. Told ya I’ve been feeling very very very weird lately rite? I think I’m missing something which I can’t even explain what it is (it’s just very weird!) and is like no more woohah-whoa-wow exclamation marks in life that really really amazed me, no joy! I just feel that I want to have a deeper relationship, like another phase in the walk with God to make this journey on earth more exciting.

The desire to really want God in life, in every aspect and not to show this life to the world or anyone.

Christmas Tree

I wish one day I can put up christmas tree with my kids in future. lalalala~

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A pleasing day. (:

Talking to Uncle James, Aunty Yee Khim and all the adults, always enlightened a bit. Nice.

Everyone loves my shy shy Dinner, Miss Chu found out Dinner is left handed. hah!

Much thinking, reminisce, dreaming after long tiring day. A struck of emotional waves like tsunami, unaware.

Anyway, Jia Jeng is coming back this Sunday, I’m happy. It’s been a while we last met and talked. (:

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Anyway, the previous Job Seeking post, are just plain unnecessary worries when I read back. BOO! *paiseh* Btw, I’m going for another interview. (Yesh, 2 interviews tomorrow, I hope I get the one working in Art Institute at town area.. hehe). So good to have my buddy with me for the first interview and daddy to spare his car for brother to pick me up.

–

I need to find a new place to talk to God and quiet time. Maybe a park, a corner or somewhere not at home, quiet, spacious and serene. Maybe I should be like one of my college friend who will go into the jungle and be with the presence of God. haha.

Line always bad at my side, talk a while and get disconnected.

Got some deep stuff to tell God.. for quite a while didn’t dig all things out already.

December, I’ll Be Back

Sometimes I open my wordpress, I click new post, I type something, back space it, type again, then back space again, I stare at the blank white screen and click [x]. Even my own diary (Yesh, I keep a diary/drawing book and it’s like so old school I know..heh), I often don’t know how to start writing or I end up drawing something half way unfinished. Is it just me or people do that too? hmmm…

For words that left unwritten, for things that left unsaid, there’s just too much stuff to tell and far more too insignificant for others to listen to and care for.Sometimes I think. Or is it since when walls start to be builded up and people just start to suffer in silence, doesn’t want to be seen as the weak and emotional ones.

Today Chi En shared about prayers. I think I need to seek and wait upon the Lord till He comes. I think I need to talk to Him more for all these unimportant things it seems to others or sometimes I thought them to be so too. And breakthrough, I really need breakthrough in a few stuff. Lead me to a higher ground to be a strong mighty warrior that will never lose my royalty identity as a child of God, always speak the right words and do the right things at the right time. Knowing that You are a loving father, a gentle lover, a creative master, a patient teacher and a caring friend. You never condemned and never expect perfectionism in me, but always giving great plans and great challenges for me to grow to be more like You and doing things greater than You. And Your plans are to prosper not to harm, to make weary young men/women to soar like eagles, always the top not the bottom. Remember that Your grace will always be sufficient and looking the world and people through Your eyes while seeing myself through Your eyes too, ever precious, ever forgiven and never forsaken.. And you are too, my friend. (:

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So what if you gain the whole world but lose your own self?

–

Anyway, title has it. December, I’ll be back for good. ;D ;D ;D Will be working and continue studies, no exact plans, but let’s see how. Meanwhile, concentrate on my remaining 5 papers and I hope I will do well (not like math!!! >.<)!

Higher Ground.

(That’s a size 5 shoes, if u’re wondering, I stuffed some shoe pad thingy inside, so it’s wear-able to me.. haha! =p)

On The Way Back Home

黑白灰

对与错

交叉口

看不透

为什么

这样子

–

孤单是走在人群中

还是一人围绕寂静

–

幸福是拥有而珍惜

还是没有时而感恩

–

可能未知是一种美

无形的美叫信望爱

–

可能什么都很清楚

会蒙蔽恩典的存在

–

往事地毯扫净

整理记忆抽屉

晒干泪湿枕头

–

回到最初的温暖.

Quiet In Your Arms

Took a bus down to KTM station and went all the way to Mid Valley last Friday because I’m too bored and need to go jalan jalan a while to have a good full stop for my “vacation”.

Although I get to eat my happy happy sushi (yesh, me lovey lovey sushi! ;D) and came back with a pair of new flip flop and a tee shirt, I think the greatest thing I had today was meeting this cute little boy. They always say, little things are often the things that make you smile the longest, kinda true.(:

Where am I where am I?

Huh? Why are looking and smiling at me?

*LOOK AT THOSE CHUBBY BABY FATS!!* X)

Do you think I will hold back for what is the best for you?

Stop thinking who when how where..

shh…

Just quiet in My arms and explore the world with heart wides open

God speaks again. (:

These few days my place is very quiet and lonely because everyone is back to their hometown, Exam is coming, too many books and notes I can’t bring back home, so gotta allocate well the time spent at home and time spent for revising over here, hence this explains why although is raya break I am not going back home. Anyway, I’m going back this Friday! Saturday is Yong Thai and Jacq’s wedding and my cousin’s 21st birthday party! I shall just tahaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn 2 more days and I can go back home! wee~

Maybe when you stop thinking and overwhelm by your own problems you get to see the brighter side and bigger picture. Like Jaeson Ma’s rap in Awaken The Dawn “I stop to think, You start to speak. And when You start to speak, You speak so loud”. The key is, stop to think. HAHAHA! =p

Happy Hari Raya break! 😀