RENOVATION!

Orientation starts next week! Thank God I got quite a nice hall (I heard), Hall One! It’s a twin sharing with attached bathroom. Don’t know who’s my room mate yet, hopefully she’s a nice person. And I can’t wait to study again after 9 months, it’s been a while yea. Hope I get good and helpful lecturers and a bunch of really nice classmates too.

It’s amazing, these 9 months been quite awesome as I looked back. Nothing is wasted, nothing could be labelled as regrets, nothing could be regarded as insignificant and small. Everything is in His hands, even for things that hurt and caused to a great fall, because I know I learn something everytime and always be able to run into His arms and walk even stronger with Him. And I am more focus what truly life’s about, knowing even more that I couldn’t take control of things(don’t be a control freak!) and there’s nothing wrong to be serious in everything in life, to set apart, do the right thing and called to be holy. These 9 months, really been amazing, God spoke a lot to me, tuning me into the right channel 心意更新, constantly be alert and willing to be changed. So sorry people, sometimes rite, I just don’t know how to express myself in words, but I always have a lot to tell.. haha.

I THINK I NEED TO RENOVATE MY BLOG. I MIGHT CLOSE IT ANYTIME. hehe.

Zap

When I have short hair, I have the tendency to cut it shorter. Don’t know whyyyyy…

I think I look like a boy. whahahah.

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When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God

Recently God has been talking to me through Psalm 73 and finally when I got that part, I was pretty much amazed and comforted after all. 😀

No doubt about it! God is good—good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top, envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.

What’s going on here? Is God out to lunch?
Nobody’s tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything; they have it made, piling up riches.
I’ve been stupid to play by the rules; what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that’s what— a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

Still, when I tried to figure it out, all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:

When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence.
I’m still in your presence, but you’ve taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me.

You’re all I want in heaven!
You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
But I’m in the very presence of God— oh, how refreshing it is!

Hiding Place

Had a nice talk with En Hui on Saturday night, guess God is tuning a lot areas in my life, even more than I realize, which is good. And glad that Tian and Shu Hui came to my house, we had a great time talking and learning photoshop. (:

Anyway, my first time learning driving! The steering is really difficult to turn, maybe I need to eat more and I might end up with muscles on my arm. haha! And I think my legs are short, so it’s quite difficult to step on the clutch. And and and now finally I understand why some ppl they take off their shoes to drive, just to feel it you know you know. hahaha! For the first time, I think I did quite okay. *pat pat on shoulder!* I will do it better next time and get my license!! Practice more! Anyone want to give me extra classes? wahahhahaha…

Alrite, I am very sleepy now, still got a lot things to do. My head is so heavy.

I love this song. A cry, a desire.  Good night people!

Draw me ever closer to look upon Your face.. I will run, to the hiding place.

My Book, Your Pen

I think.. My life is interesting, it would be a good book to read. =p

haha. (but I’m serious.)

I learn, God is teaching me that every mistakes and every rainy days should not be scribbled off from my book. He wants my book to fall under the best seller non-fiction category, not entirely romance filled chic flick nor unrealistic fantasy sci-fi. Nothing but just a simple cover with pages and pages, chapters and chapters of interesting imperfect true stories. Luxurious chariots, pretty dresses, cute fairies, knight in shinning armor or fancy castle might not exists at all, but He certainly will end my book with the nicest The End and most beautiful happily ever after.

Thank Him for every short sentence or long sentence, every short chapter or long chapter. And also for every punctuation- comma for taking a rest and separation, full stop for continuing another journey, exclamation mark for unexpected joy or even heartbreaks, question mark for desiring more of Him and gaining wisdom. For every people that came into my story, whether for just a while or stay on until the very last chapter or even appearing again unexpectedly in one of the chapter, it all made my book a special one! Thank Him for every thoughts and conversations, every feelings and emotions, every struggles and overcoming.

He will hold my pen until the very last breathe, till then just keep writing.

(:

Joy Joy Joy

I wanted to share about something else on Saturday so badly, but just don’t have the courage to do so. Sigh. I’ve got all the points written down in my diary but scribbled it off, some. Sigh.

Recently been uhm.. Tired, but really enjoy seeing my cbc kids every Sunday, like they really spread their joy to me. 😀 But well, just sometimes felt so alone, wanted to have some good food, good chat, good movie, don’t know who to turn to. Sometimes I really hope I have an elder bro or sis.  Totally gotta agree with what Prisc shared, like you felt your good friends are so far away then the joy decreases, new faces came but you miss those good old ones a lot. Just recently been so much drama, I really feel quite frustrated and sad. Just that, sometimes I really can’t take it anymore with my own, too many times, with too many different people, too many issues, too many emotions and thoughts, too many things to take care of,  just too much. Then I’m just thinking am I at fault and at the same time why it always happen to me. I’m just tired,so defeated sometimes..  T.T

haha. Emo is not cool. So this time I will try to think in the positive way and let it be. ^^

The sad “flower boy”

Kids really know how to pose ;D

Happy Mother’s Day! (I think Felicia is so cute, but she was cut off.. too bad!)

SO CUTE RITE? 😀 😀 😀 😀

On the brighter side, 1 more month till class! lol.

Dancing With God

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance I kept seeing ‘dance’ at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw ‘G: I thought of God, followed by ‘u’ and ‘i’. ‘God, ‘u’ and ‘i’ dance’

God, you, and I dance.

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(:

Let Me Tell You A Story

Yesh, I have a story to tell.

I was miserable, very bitter for the past few weeks or even months. The reason is simple, because I just think that I’m such a lost kid, don’t really know where to go, what to do in the future. And I could have just choose a very safe path which was also initially the path that I planned, continue studying in Inti this early January or maybe March or even June for law and then fly to Leeds for final year, get to enjoy a different kind of life in the overseas. Actually I struggled a lot especially during those intake dates. And my A-levels results were just unexpected. I got 1A2B, A for law which is so l-o-l. (Seriously that was just unexpected). And yet, I didn’t go for law, so it somehow sometimes makes me thinks that I am weird. It’s like, okay.. my results show that I think I can study law ler… Then I actually quite like law and everyone thinks that law is something. And why not?

And the thing about decision making is that I’m always afraid. Then this time right, I made a really really really sudden swift to drop the law thought and decide to study art and design. I get a bit scolded for being indecisive and lots of comments. I don’t know where this thought came from, but I just feel it’s something exciting. Partly also I rmb someone once prayed for me before that he saw I’m painting a very nice and big canvas and these “colours” will be a blessing to people. And also perhaps I miss here too much and I don’t want to leave. I really struggle a lot thinking about the future prospect and stuff. There and then I realised I’ve always been a “timid” person, always seeking for what is the safest, setting my mind in that little square box and going beyond to where only I can see. I am just too realistic, always wanted something concrete, no faith no faith.

So, I worked and waited. I struggled a lot in working also. Then I struggled again and again why do I need to work now instead of studying. I feel really lousy at times and I feel old. And I questioned a lot about life, about love, about money, about future, about people and about God. I felt like time just ticking very fast yet I am wasting my youth doing something isn’t really exciting. And I have no time for this and that yet I am wasting time doing things other people not doing it. But God is faithful, he always have very funny ideas to answer my questions through things and through people.

Yet right, I’m always still not sure is my decision a good one. And too much what if.

Yeap, I applied NAFA and NTU. Just these 2. It’s compulsory to take diploma instead of degree in NAFA, in short I will waste my 2 years of A-levels, so I was hoping to get in NTU more, but I thought I should still keep NAFA as spare. Actually, I miss the date for NAFA’s interview and pleaded(not in a desperate way ya!)  for another interview session. Then I waited and waited for the reply. I got their reply, I was accepted, but I didn’t get the major that I wanted, they want me to change course. I called them and their reply was “is either the course is already full or you’re just not good enough”. So, I sorta a bit disappointed and gave in since I might really am not good enough so NTU might be even tougher, so I sent back that letter and changed course, at least I still can have a place to study. But still… hmm..

Still I continue to hope that I can get NTU. But their requirements like those portfolio and stuff, I seriously afraid that I might not be good enough and my A-levels I didn’t have General Paper, I didn’t go for IELTS test also and I have 1A only . Then last week, I got NAFA’s letter again. This time, they wrote congratulations and I need to pay a sum around 1000SGD as registration fee before 8 May otherwise the offer will lapse.

So, I was stuck-ed. NTU didn’t gave me a reply yet. And so it was bad. Plus plus some of my friend’s friends got replied already but not me :X

I called NTU, they say wait, not sure when. :X

And last week I lost my old nike shoe in church, somehow one of it was missing, VERY FUNNY RITE! =( Then I got a bit upset coz that pair was with me since secondary school time and now left one only. We had LDP and Persis shared 失去是最好的考验。This phrase hit me a bit hard, as if God speaking right to my heart. Not about that missing shoe, but am I prepare to lose myself into God’s hand and trust Him. hmmmmmm…. *chim-nism*

Last Thursday, I was bored in office. Shu Hui told me NTU’s staffs are efficient, so I decided to “try”. hahahahah! I wrote an email telling them I urgently need the result. And my replied was “Dear Shanlei, don’t worry, you’ll get your reply this evening or tomorrow.” THEN I CONSTANTLY CHECKED MY MAIL AND REFRESH THE PAGE LIKE MAD THAT DAY. HAHAHAHAH!!! No news and I dock off. =.=

Then Then Then at night, I decided to just try and check my mail, but I doubt so I will get a reply because it’s after office hour already.

TO MY SURPRISE THERE IS ONE WITH THE TITLE “APPLICATION OUTCOME”

*I CLICKED!*

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Greetings from the Nanyang Technological University, Singapore! I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected for admission to the Nanyang Technological University in academic year 2009-10 for reading Art, Design & Media under the subsidized tuition fee category.

I believe that our rigourous academic curriculum coupled with other exciting factors such as the resources, facilities, cutting-edge research, diversity and residential living etc., best define the Nanyang Technological University’s global standing and recognition.   It would be my pleasure to welcome you to the NTU family.

Please let us know your decision on whether you wish to accept our offer of admission at:
https://wis.ntu.edu.sg/pls/webexe/adm_fore_appl.login

The deadline for your acceptance is Wednesday, 27 May 2009.

Your selection from a pool of highly qualified applicants is a strong recognition of your academic achievement and our belief that you will Take The Lead as a student of the NTU community.  I extend to you my heartiest congratulations and look forward to your participation in a challenging and stimulating academic grooming at NTU.

Dr Lalit Goel, PhD
Dean of Admissions
Nanyang Technological University

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I WAS LIKE “I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT”

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
I teared a little bit. It’s just… sooo… precious to me. Daddy was soooooooooo happy, mummy too! But mummy had a weird question. haha

Mummy: How long your course?

Me: 4 years! 😀

Mummy: No express class wannn arr?

Me: Of couse no lar!

Mummy: Huh.. So long. How old when you graduate?

Me: 25 years old lor!

Mummy: HUH! SO OLD LIAO!

ME: =.=

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Although I’m THRILLED! I thought I might just be lucky or that course was just not popular. Then I talked to a few people today and my dad, I realized it isn’t about luck, it isn’t about anything, it’s about God’s grace indeed!! Then I started to recall how it was the whole thing and trace back every little thing, all the little things above you’ve just survived to read. And how things happened and some things did not, all these while He is there. SO I DECIDED TO BLOG ABOUT IT SO PLS PARDON ME FOR THIS LONG POST. (:

I really couldn’t express how happy I am and how grateful I am. Seriously, I’m out of words. I’m just plain happy and happy and happy and can’t stop smiling. And I’m happy that I’ve struggled and all these have meant so much more to me now and it all MAKE SENSE THAT WHY IT IS LIKE THAT. 得来真的很不易！！！

I really really really can’t wait to start University and that was just so precious to me.

And it will made me remember so deeply  that I am blessed to study, I am blessed to meet obstacle in studies and I am there because of God’s faithfulness.

Eventhough I have little faith, God can work with even a little faith. “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, `Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”

It’s 3.08am now. I think I should stop. hahahahahah. Perhaps you’ll be thinking I am blabbering too much, probably that’s because you still can’t feel how grateful and happy I am. DID I JUST MENTION GRATEFUL AND HAPPY AGAIN? =p

I’ve Resigned. (:

I’ve handed my resignation letter today (:

Somehow I was a bit afraid but my boss responded with a smile and even asked the HR department to write a testimonial for me. That was…. just unexpected.

Actually I’ve learnt a lot, met a lot nice people also. Used to wonder why. Why I need to work while my friends were studying their 2nd year in Uni already. Why I need to choose to wait. I guess now I know what God wants me to learn. I guess I’ll treasure time, people, experience and studies more. And so much more.

Eventhough I still don’t know which place exactly I’ll be going, I’ve learnt that, just wait, just trust. It will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end yet. (:

Craving

I have serious craving for nice food.

After I quit my job (June!) I’m going to dig all the recipes and learn how to cook some nice food. 😀

Strength

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies