Samuel called asking me whether I’ll be coming back by bus or will I be going back home for dinner. I told him I will be back home but maybe a bit later, thought of buying some nice stuff for myself. I was happy. Daddy called also asking me anything extra I want to eat. I said is okay, I want to eat what mummy cooks. Actually I suggested we dined outside for something nice, I pay for it but mummy thinks shouldn’t. Then after work, I called home. Told mummy again I will be back home for dinner but a bit later. She said she won’t be cooking, she’s too tired. I was puzzled why Samuel asked me will I be back home, I realised that’s because he wanted to use the car to date his gf. No wonder. no wonder.
I walked in the mall. Top up my phone’s credit because I wil get 50% bonus credit for what I top up, digi user.”100 bucks, thanks.” The digi salesgirl looked at me and asked why. “It’s my birthday.” She looked at me again, longer.
Reluctantly I walked and walked, passed by beautiful clothes and nice candy shops. Passerby and strangers. I did not bought anything and was about to went home. I saw a guy smiling and waving at me, he looks very familiar but just couldn’t think of who he is. He asked me why am I alone, I don’t know what to say, just smiled and said bye. Crossing the CIQ to bus stop, I saw a TnT member, Biscuit or something. Wanted to smiled at him but he didn’t noticed me.
Then I got in my bus, thinking. I forgot why I cried. Perhaps I was tired. Perhaps I was afraid of what may come for the next 20 years. Perhaps I was thinking the past 20 years I had. Perhaps because I was no longer a teen. Perhaps because I’m expected to be treated as grown up. Perhaps I’m always different. Perhaps I don’t know why. Prisc texted me and it was very encouraging to me at that moment. “He doesn’t change”, really cuts my heart and tears began to flow.
I got back home. Cooked myself high class instant noodle with an egg and 5 fishballs, not too bad for instant noodle I thought. Matthew wished me and happily shared the cake with me, some student at work bought for me. They also bought me chocolate and full cream milk because they just knew it and that’s what they could get from petrol kiosk, it was really really sweet I thought. (: One colleague and a few students bought me a cheese cake too, that colleague also gave me a very small pendrive as present. (: Thank you everyone who wished in facebook and sms or call too. (:
Well, today my cg got me a handmade card. (: Prisc got me a card too and lovely lovely daisy. (: Sunday I will be meeting my good buddies in secondary school for dinner. (:
- **
So much to tell.
I wonder if I had 20 years more, will I still portray myself walking alone waiting and chasing shooting star where everybody thought that me myself am the star in this beautiful galaxy with many many other stars.. I guess, at least I’ve also always portray myself walking alone but Jesus holding my hand and I’m never alone. (:
Maybe I just miss playing see-saw and kiss the sky with slippers off my feet.
Maybe I just miss being hug high up and spin along with wind brushing through my hair.
Of errors and mistakes, of unwritten and unspoken, of regrets and sorrows, God trade it all with joy, hope, love and peace. Thank you. (: For 20 years and many more 20 years to come, thank you. (:
Happy 20th birthday, young lady.
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