Zap

When I have short hair, I have the tendency to cut it shorter. Don’t know whyyyyy…

I think I look like a boy. whahahah.

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When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God

Recently God has been talking to me through Psalm 73 and finally when I got that part, I was pretty much amazed and comforted after all.

No doubt about it! God is good—good to good people, good to the good-hearted.
But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness.
I was looking the other way,
looking up to the people
At the top, envying the wicked who have it made,
Who have nothing to worry about, not a care in the whole wide world.

What’s going on here? Is God out to lunch?
Nobody’s tending the store.
The wicked get by with everything; they have it made, piling up riches.
I’ve been stupid to play by the rules; what has it gotten me?
A long run of bad luck, that’s what— a slap in the face every time I walk out the door.

Still, when I tried to figure it out, all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:

When I was beleaguered and bitter, totally consumed by envy,
I was totally ignorant, a dumb ox in your very presence.
I’m still in your presence, but you’ve taken my hand.
You wisely and tenderly lead me, and then you bless me.

You’re all I want in heaven!
You’re all I want on earth!
When my skin sags and my bones get brittle,
God is rock-firm and faithful.
But I’m in the very presence of God— oh, how refreshing it is!

My Book, Your Pen

I think.. My life is interesting, it would be a good book to read. =p

haha. (but I’m serious.)

I learn, God is teaching me that every mistakes and every rainy days should not be scribbled off from my book. He wants my book to fall under the best seller non-fiction category, not entirely romance filled chic flick nor unrealistic fantasy sci-fi. Nothing but just a simple cover with pages and pages, chapters and chapters of interesting imperfect true stories. Luxurious chariots, pretty dresses, cute fairies, knight in shinning armor or fancy castle might not exists at all, but He certainly will end my book with the nicest The End and most beautiful happily ever after.

Thank Him for every short sentence or long sentence, every short chapter or long chapter. And also for every punctuation- comma for taking a rest and separation, full stop for continuing another journey, exclamation mark for unexpected joy or even heartbreaks, question mark for desiring more of Him and gaining wisdom. For every people that came into my story, whether for just a while or stay on until the very last chapter or even appearing again unexpectedly in one of the chapter, it all made my book a special one! Thank Him for every thoughts and conversations, every feelings and emotions, every struggles and overcoming.

He will hold my pen until the very last breathe, till then just keep writing.

(:

Dancing With God

Dancing With God

When I meditated on the word Guidance I kept seeing ‘dance’ at the end of the word. I remember reading that doing God’s will is a lot like dancing. When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another. It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw ‘G: I thought of God, followed by ‘u’ and ‘i’. ‘God, ‘u’ and ‘i’ dance’

God, you, and I dance.

-

(:

Strength

You are my strength
Strength like no other
Strength like no other
Reaches to me

You are my hope
Hope like no other
Hope like no other
Reaches to me

In the fullness of Your grace
In the power of Your Name
You lift me up
You lift me up

Unfailing love
Stronger than mountains
Deeper than oceans
Reaches to me

Your love O Lord
Reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness
Reaches to the skies

Slow Down

Where mountains fall and reason fails

And You calm the raging seas

And You calm the storms in me, again

Slow down.

Rest in You.

Something Cute..

I think her parents taught her well and she’s so adorable. Aw…

“I’ve got the joy joy joy joy joy in my heart”
I used to sing that when I was a kid. (:

You Are My Righteousness

Don’t cry tonight little darling
Forget the screams that night
The glow of firelight as you ran into the darkness
It was over before we knew just what to do
Remember daddy loved you
Breathe tonight tomorrow’s far away
Just close your eyes and dream of better days

Cos I’ve been waiting here, no one knows it
No one knows my name
Can’t seem to dry my tears, someone stop the pain

I’ll say a prayer for you tonight
Watch the world fly by in the daily times
Open your eyes ask yourself just why
We pretend its fine

Eight years old so excited
First day at school learn the golden rule, how to love your neighbor
Across the world there’s another, eight years old
Just been sold to feed a man’s addiction
She fears the night, tries to remember when
She was home again with loving arms around here
Breathe tonight little sister, tomorrow’s far away
Just close your eyes and dream of better days

Cos I don’t wanna live in a world that tells me
To live and let live get your house and your widescreen
There’s gotta be more than what I’m told is the good life
A good life

Why|Coloured Lights|Chad Blondel

***

今天好冤枉。

今天在想很多为什么。

天父的花园

I’ve been busy busy busy. CNY was great! Nice visiting Cg members and secondary school friends’ houses. The best part is get to eat a lot and rest a lot. I just love switching on the air cond, sitting on my couch, watching tv and just SLACKING. wahahaha..XD

I realised again and again how faithful God is in recent things that had happened. And it’s really when I’m with God and I have God, I fear nothing. Even when I’m so afraid and clueless or even SO DEFEATED, I have my solid rock. I thank God that life is not smooth sailing all the time so that I will draw even closer to Him, just trust in Him. I grow a little teeny weeny bit more this time I think. heh.

A very lovely children song, it made me a bit teary when the first time I heard it.

天父的花园

小小花园里，红橙黄蓝绿
每朵小花都美丽
微风轻飘逸，蓝天同欢喜
在天父的花园里
你我同是宝贝，在这花园里
园丁细心呵护不让你伤心
刮风或下雨，应许从不离开你
天父的小花成长在他手里
别担心，你的成长在他手里

园丁细心呵护不让你伤心 （：

More of Life

Busking under the sun, with breeze and everything nice, just close your eyes.. It feels good! (:

I love walking in the crowd and sitting in public places, it makes me wonder and have many many thoughts in mind about people, about things, about circumstances and about life. Then continue walking and questioning God. Though I don’t get immediate answer always, but somehow someday something will just reveal it all. And even perhaps I’ve already forgotten about it and the answers will just come, triggers that long ago questions I used to ask and hearing as if God whispering to me “you see? so now you know…“. Then I’ll just smile and walk down to the memory lane, back to the time why I ask why/how/what. Then continue walking and smiling, thinking “hah! me so silly! God u’re so cute!” (:

Then it goes on and on.. perhaps until one day I don’t have to do that. I can just speak face to face like how Moses in the bible did with that extra sweet embrace and I will know I am at Home. (:

Okay, 1st resolution for 2009!!

I’ve decided to wake up early and take my bread of life every morning in the park near by. Told ya I’ve been feeling very very very weird lately rite? I think I’m missing something which I can’t even explain what it is (it’s just very weird!) and is like no more woohah-whoa-wow exclamation marks in life that really really amazed me, no joy! I just feel that I want to have a deeper relationship, like another phase in the walk with God to make this journey on earth more exciting.

The desire to really want God in life, in every aspect and not to show this life to the world or anyone.

Christmas Tree

I wish one day I can put up christmas tree with my kids in future. lalalala~

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A pleasing day. (:

Talking to Uncle James, Aunty Yee Khim and all the adults, always enlightened a bit. Nice.

Everyone loves my shy shy Dinner, Miss Chu found out Dinner is left handed. hah!

Much thinking, reminisce, dreaming after long tiring day. A struck of emotional waves like tsunami, unaware.

Anyway, Jia Jeng is coming back this Sunday, I’m happy. It’s been a while we last met and talked. (:

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Anyway, the previous Job Seeking post, are just plain unnecessary worries when I read back. BOO! *paiseh* Btw, I’m going for another interview. (Yesh, 2 interviews tomorrow, I hope I get the one working in Art Institute at town area.. hehe). So good to have my buddy with me for the first interview and daddy to spare his car for brother to pick me up.

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I need to find a new place to talk to God and quiet time. Maybe a park, a corner or somewhere not at home, quiet, spacious and serene. Maybe I should be like one of my college friend who will go into the jungle and be with the presence of God. haha.

Line always bad at my side, talk a while and get disconnected.

Got some deep stuff to tell God.. for quite a while didn’t dig all things out already.