Let Me Tell You A Story

Yesh, I have a story to tell.

I was miserable, very bitter for the past few weeks or even months. The reason is simple, because I just think that I’m such a lost kid, don’t really know where to go, what to do in the future. And I could have just choose a very safe path which was also initially the path that I planned, continue studying in Inti this early January or maybe March or even June for law and then fly to Leeds for final year, get to enjoy a different kind of life in the overseas. Actually I struggled a lot especially during those intake dates. And my A-levels results were just unexpected. I got 1A2B, A for law which is so l-o-l. (Seriously that was just unexpected). And yet, I didn’t go for law, so it somehow sometimes makes me thinks that I am weird. It’s like, okay.. my results show that I think I can study law ler… Then I actually quite like law and everyone thinks that law is something. And why not?

And the thing about decision making is that I’m always afraid. Then this time right, I made a really really really sudden swift to drop the law thought and decide to study art and design. I get a bit scolded for being indecisive and lots of comments. I don’t know where this thought came from, but I just feel it’s something exciting. Partly also I rmb someone once prayed for me before that he saw I’m painting a very nice and big canvas and these “colours” will be a blessing to people. And also perhaps I miss here too much and I don’t want to leave. I really struggle a lot thinking about the future prospect and stuff. There and then I realised I’ve always been a “timid” person, always seeking for what is the safest, setting my mind in that little square box and going beyond to where only I can see. I am just too realistic, always wanted something concrete, no faith no faith.

So, I worked and waited. I struggled a lot in working also. Then I struggled again and again why do I need to work now instead of studying. I feel really lousy at times and I feel old. And I questioned a lot about life, about love, about money, about future, about people and about God. I felt like time just ticking very fast yet I am wasting my youth doing something isn’t really exciting. And I have no time for this and that yet I am wasting time doing things other people not doing it. But God is faithful, he always have very funny ideas to answer my questions through things and through people.

Yet right, I’m always still not sure is my decision a good one. And too much what if.

Yeap, I applied NAFA and NTU. Just these 2. It’s compulsory to take diploma instead of degree in NAFA, in short I will waste my 2 years of A-levels, so I was hoping to get in NTU more, but I thought I should still keep NAFA as spare. Actually, I miss the date for NAFA’s interview and pleaded(not in a desperate way ya!)  for another interview session. Then I waited and waited for the reply. I got their reply, I was accepted, but I didn’t get the major that I wanted, they want me to change course. I called them and their reply was “is either the course is already full or you’re just not good enough”. So, I sorta a bit disappointed and gave in since I might really am not good enough so NTU might be even tougher, so I sent back that letter and changed course, at least I still can have a place to study. But still… hmm..

Still I continue to hope that I can get NTU. But their requirements like those portfolio and stuff, I seriously afraid that I might not be good enough and my A-levels I didn’t have General Paper, I didn’t go for IELTS test also and I have 1A only . Then last week, I got NAFA’s letter again. This time, they wrote congratulations and I need to pay a sum around 1000SGD as registration fee before 8 May otherwise the offer will lapse.

So, I was stuck-ed. NTU didn’t gave me a reply yet. And so it was bad. Plus plus some of my friend’s friends got replied already but not me :X

I called NTU, they say wait, not sure when. :X

And last week I lost my old nike shoe in church, somehow one of it was missing, VERY FUNNY RITE! =( Then I got a bit upset coz that pair was with me since secondary school time and now left one only. We had LDP and Persis shared 失去是最好的考验。This phrase hit me a bit hard, as if God speaking right to my heart. Not about that missing shoe, but am I prepare to lose myself into God’s hand and trust Him. hmmmmmm…. *chim-nism*

Last Thursday, I was bored in office. Shu Hui told me NTU’s staffs are efficient, so I decided to “try”. hahahahah! I wrote an email telling them I urgently need the result. And my replied was “Dear Shanlei, don’t worry, you’ll get your reply this evening or tomorrow.” THEN I CONSTANTLY CHECKED MY MAIL AND REFRESH THE PAGE LIKE MAD THAT DAY. HAHAHAHAH!!! No news and I dock off. =.=

Then Then Then at night, I decided to just try and check my mail, but I doubt so I will get a reply because it’s after office hour already.

TO MY SURPRISE THERE IS ONE WITH THE TITLE “APPLICATION OUTCOME”

*I CLICKED!*

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Greetings from the Nanyang Technological University, Singapore! I am very pleased to inform you that you have been selected for admission to the Nanyang Technological University in academic year 2009-10 for reading Art, Design & Media under the subsidized tuition fee category.

I believe that our rigourous academic curriculum coupled with other exciting factors such as the resources, facilities, cutting-edge research, diversity and residential living etc., best define the Nanyang Technological University’s global standing and recognition.   It would be my pleasure to welcome you to the NTU family.

Please let us know your decision on whether you wish to accept our offer of admission at:
https://wis.ntu.edu.sg/pls/webexe/adm_fore_appl.login

The deadline for your acceptance is Wednesday, 27 May 2009.

Your selection from a pool of highly qualified applicants is a strong recognition of your academic achievement and our belief that you will Take The Lead as a student of the NTU community.  I extend to you my heartiest congratulations and look forward to your participation in a challenging and stimulating academic grooming at NTU.

Dr Lalit Goel, PhD
Dean of Admissions
Nanyang Technological University

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I WAS LIKE “I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT”

I teared a little bit. It’s just… sooo… precious to me. Daddy was soooooooooo happy, mummy too! But mummy had a weird question. haha

Mummy: How long your course?

Me: 4 years!

Mummy: No express class wannn arr?

Me: Of couse no lar!

Mummy: Huh.. So long. How old when you graduate?

Me: 25 years old lor!

Mummy: HUH! SO OLD LIAO!

ME: =.=

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Although I’m THRILLED! I thought I might just be lucky or that course was just not popular. Then I talked to a few people today and my dad, I realized it isn’t about luck, it isn’t about anything, it’s about God’s grace indeed!! Then I started to recall how it was the whole thing and trace back every little thing, all the little things above you’ve just survived to read. And how things happened and some things did not, all these while He is there. SO I DECIDED TO BLOG ABOUT IT SO PLS PARDON ME FOR THIS LONG POST. (:

I really couldn’t express how happy I am and how grateful I am. Seriously, I’m out of words. I’m just plain happy and happy and happy and can’t stop smiling. And I’m happy that I’ve struggled and all these have meant so much more to me now and it all MAKE SENSE THAT WHY IT IS LIKE THAT. 得来真的很不易！！！

I really really really can’t wait to start University and that was just so precious to me.

And it will made me remember so deeply  that I am blessed to study, I am blessed to meet obstacle in studies and I am there because of God’s faithfulness.

Eventhough I have little faith, God can work with even a little faith. “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, `Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”

It’s 3.08am now. I think I should stop. hahahahahah. Perhaps you’ll be thinking I am blabbering too much, probably that’s because you still can’t feel how grateful and happy I am. DID I JUST MENTION GRATEFUL AND HAPPY AGAIN? =p